Feels Like We’re Dying

I-95, Massachusetts Route 1, Tobin Bridge and full-blown enchantment.

For those who have lived in the Boston proper or have passed through the city, this route may sound familiar and visual. As the ramp turns and the car merges onto the Tobin Bridge, the city glows, literally in front of my eyes. Rain dampened the road and made it glisten; light from the docking ships lit the piers and outlined where the city meets the water; the dark night turned bright and memories started to come alive.

I spent two of my best years post college in this city. Little distraction. Full focus. Some adventures. Lots of uncertainty. There were days and nights when I sat on the floating dock by the Summer Street watching the city’s reflection on the water shimmer and twist. There were also nights when I left work for the library at Boston University and stayed until midnight with a book interpreting its hidden storyline. In these two years I might have thrown myself in this hyper growth mode in this city, or the city might have provided me with the energy and right reasons to stride toward my yet-to-be-determined future, but the point is, I have once been part of this city and this city has become part of me.

Sophomore year in college I wanted to visit Boston and I did so with little budget. And this little budget really translated into a homeless night at the Corner Pub on Lincoln Street followed by South Station followed by a Bank of American ATM cube on Mass. Ave. The late October night chilled me to the bone but the startling cold only made the city less abstract and more sensorial, literally. This excruciating experience left a stain in my memory but not a negative one because it turned itself into my sole motivation and determination to come to this city one day and become one of the bustling pedestrians.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Rewards are hideous and they bury themselves deep down in the worst of times, times so bad that you may have cried, wanted to give up, and slain your genuineness. However, please remember that it was also the best of times.

When it feels like we’re dying, we are not; we are thriving.

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